What to do about my emotional "letdown" while nursing?

[Pumpkin]

I have been breastfeeding for almost four months now, and I still get an emotional let-down almost every time we nurse. In the beginning, when my milk let down, I would get immediate physical reactions. Sometimes it was nausea, sometimes dizziness, sometimes a sharp head pain, sometimes my mouth would just turn to ash, (sometimes all the above!) and they would subside gradually as I continued during each nursing session.
That slowly changed to an emotional let down--sometimes it would be just the amazing wonder at it all, sometimes sheer joy, and sometimes anger.
The thing is that the anger lingers and I'm having trouble letting go of things, big and small, from not only yesterday, but years ago (from my MIL thinks I need to be desensitized from responding to the peanut! to an insignificant slight from a girlfriend back in junior high!)

Every time I breastfeed, I relax and feel really connected to my beautiful little miracle, and then a new anger creeps in and I just dwell on it. So two problems--why does the anger keep arising, and then why can't I let it go?

Has anyone experienced these intense emotional uprisings? How do I let them come AND go?

[PetiteMom]

Hi, sorry to hear about this. Does it only happen during the moments when you have your letdowns?

Most likely this is triggered by the hormones. As you continue nursing the hormones will stop "raging" and get to more manageable levels. So meanwhile you could just practice deep breathing or fill your mind with something else. I read books a lot while I am nursing -- have you tried that?

Another thing: it could be a touch of post partum depression. I have been having my own "odd" mood/behaviour swings. And feelings of anxiety or replying something in my head... After reading up on PPD I've realized there is a huge spectrum of ways the post partum hormones can affect the way you feel and act.

If you feel like it's getting WORSE or if you are feeling violent or suicidal then I wouldn't hesitate to call a professional right away!


My own 'uprisings' started after I went back to work and the pressure was on to perform, be a good mom to 2 kids, be a good wife... and I stopped napping during the day so my total amount of sleep went down. So I've been prioritizing sleep.

[Paula]

Have you tried meditation? visualization, or distraction (i.e. watching tv or reading a book)?

[DavidKelleyMay18]

I can relate to the feelings but not the feelings related to let-downs. It does sound like PPD thou.

[BabyNightOwl]

Hi mama,
Invasive thoughts can be unsettling. They can also be a sign of PPD as other people have mentioned. In some women a high amount of emotional fluctuation happens after birth, and may eventually even out. In case that is not what is happening, here is a resource on ppd:
A mother on another board compiled it, and I have found it very useful.

" For safe medications while breastfeeding (YES, you can breastfeed while taking medication for PPD!!!!) look here for information from the guru of medications while breastfeeding, Dr. Hale: http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/medref.html and here http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/...hale10-02.html (non-LLL but excellent)

You are not alone in this. There is a three part plan to beating PPD:

1) find a good support group/support around you. This could be as easy as getting your DH to help you more with the baby and around the house, or even finding a local support group specific for PPD. I personally found attending my local LLL group very helpful, even though we didn't really discuss PPD -- it was just nice to get together with other like-minded moms and talk about things that were going wrong. I also noticed that helping others helped me feel better about me, like I actually was starting to understand what I was doing. Online support is great, but there is something to be said for face time. Do nice things for yourself too and give yourself support and pats on the back. You can do this!
2) therapy with a good therapist you feel comfortable with. Many women have issues they need to resolve when they become a mom for the first time/again, and the therapist can help with that. There are low-cost ways to find a counselor if money is an issue.
3) medication. IMHO, drugs should only be prescribed by a psychiatrist because they are trained in these drugs, know how to handle them, know to look for specific side effects and can recognize when it's not working. OBs are not. Family doctors are not. I've seen many women have problems when the OB said, "Here's 50 mg of Zoloft. Good luck," when actually Zoloft should be started at 25 mg for 7-10 days to watch for side effects and then ramped up, and most people need a lot more than 50 mg. 150 mg is average. If the dosage is incorrect or the drug selected doesn't work for her, and she suffers, often not knowing the doctor was wrong in how the medication was started and it could be adjusted and she could be feeling better faster.

Keep in mind that these drugs take time to work, like 6 weeks -- you will probably not feel better instantly -- and you MUST wean off. Cold turkey quitting could lead to all sorts of weird and dangerous side effects.

One thing I've noticed consistently in PPD moms is lack of sleep. Most say they can't sleep, or if they can, it's not good sleep. I personally found cosleeping to be very helpful. I didn't have to get out of bed to feed the baby, and eventually, I didn't even wake up when my first baby nursed."

It is possible this list will be helpful!

Another thing to look into is http://www.d-mer.org/Home_Page.html

[Pumpkin]

So far, I have tried meditating during BFing, and that seems to help some, although I have been trying to learn to meditate for over a year now, and haven't learned a method that works well for me yet. (Any resources/ suggestions?). I'm not comfortable watching tv while bfing, or anywhere the little guy is right now. I don't want to tune out. I will read once he's fallen asleep on my lap though.

I actually dont' think this is post-partum depression. The reason I say that is because I have gone through serious depression before (anxiety too) I was pregnant on two different occasions. I still keep a watchful eye on my sense of self and I know what my danger signs are (so does my husband). This really does only happen just after my baby latches on.

On thing I found that isn't really related is called "The Bounce Back Book" (Karen Salmansohn) which is really to deal with specific event (job loss for example), but has some really good "tips" for improving your ability to "deal". It's really fresh and happy too. Page through it the next time you're at a book store!

[Paula]

Do you do yoga? Maybe a yoga dvd would help in learning meditation?

Here are a few links that may help....

http://www.freemeditations.com/

http://www.meditationsociety.com/108meds.html

http://www.healthandyoga.com/html/me...echniques.html

[VictoriasMom]

When I read your post, it reminded me about a thread in the "Research Requests" folder about "D-MER" or Depressive/Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. There are some links and resources listed in the thread, so take a look and maybe there will be something insightful or helpful for you there:

D-MER thread

HTH!
Monique

[scattycarrot]

I don't have any knowledge about this, just personal experience. I also have a very emotional letdown. It has eased somewhat now (my DS is 5 months) but it still happens. I have often been in tears whilst nursing thinking of negative events in my life or feeling remorse for things I have done and even grief in missing my grandmother (my son was born on her birthday). I hadn't really thought it could be PPD and I am fine anyother time. Its like a wave of feeling overcomes me and I have no control over where my thoughts go. I have managed to control it somewhat with positive thought and visualisation, listening to music that uplifts me or has good connotations for me and reading whilst feeding. I don't know if these things would help you at all? You can get medidation cds, maybe they would help?

[jacobsmommy]

Unfortunately I dont have any real advice, but I just posted on the 6-12mo board about emotional letdown I have been feeling since I started BFng. Now I know others feel it too. Its usually gone by the time we are done nursing. Mine isnt anger, but an overwhelming feeling like I want to just cry and sometimes I do. I also have a lot of anxiety and neediness since having my LO and I am wondering if its just hormones or PPD. I can function just fine, but always have thoughts in my head.

[Pumpkin]

I also have a lot of anxiety and neediness since having my LO and I am wondering if its just hormones or PPD. I can function just fine, but always have thoughts in my head.

(LONG, sorry!)

Oh, jacobsmommy, anxiety and neediness are two of MY warning signs, but only you can be the judge on that one (maybe ask your husband and/or a good girlfriend to be honest about how you seem to him or her?) About always having thoughts in your head though, I've been looking for some way to let these intense emotions, and the sometimes (okay a lot of times) lingering thoughts to move on their way too. Why aren't the happy ones that ones that stick around, you know? I did read that people really need a chunk of their day absorbed in something for their mental health. Something that takes up all of your attention, for as little as ten minutes. For me it used to be running--my mind would clear after a mile or two and I would experience a calm. What with a LO and loose hips and all, I don't get to do that these days, so I've been trying to find some books to read. Not just anything, but stuff that really has me riveted. It's a good mental break. I have to admit though that I stay up at night after the peanut has gone to sleep in order to have some uninterrupted time to do that though. Is there something you could do/you used to do that could get you so busy or focused that the other thoughts would disappear for a bit? Exercise? Boxing? Walking? Baking? Mediation is the obvious one, but that has been difficult for me.

The meditations that were suggested above look helpful (Thanks by the way!)
I'm coming back to acceptance of my emotional letdown accompaniment. Breastfeeding is perfect for infants and I figure, now, that whatever happens as a part of this most important thing I've ever done, nurturing a small life, is not "Perfect" per se, but important and worth it. The emotions that arise during it are just part of my life and things that I need to pay attention to (crying about how special this all is can be just the release I need OR maybe dealing with some anger that I didn't take care of the first time around).

Some people are more sensitive, right? We're just some of those people I figure. For me, the best way to deal with the emotions that come from bfing is to keep talking about them, keep viewing them in a positive light, and try mend hurts or train ourselves to keep moving forward. (that was a pep talk for my own benefit

[chunkycheeks]

Now I know what this is! I always thought its because I have alot of time to think while I'm nursing why i would think about sad things. Now that dd is 5mths, this has disappeared. I also had the nursing headaches for the 1st 4wks. Try to watch tv, it really helps when you're distracted.

[sararpcv]

I didn't read all the posts, but I swear by my acupunturist to help deal with my emotional uprisings. It will be important to visit a wholistic acupunturist who will take time to talk with you during your visit, not just poke you for a quick fix. My acupuncturist has helped me a lot with dealing with negative thoughts/anxiety about bad things that potentially happen to my baby.
Hang in there!

[Paula]

For me it used to be running--my mind would clear after a mile or two and I would experience a calm.

Have you thought about resuming running or going for brisk walk? You'd have to build up slow if you want to resume running of course, but there isn't any reason (as far as bfing is concerned) that you can't resume running if you wanted to.

[Pumpkin]

So it's been awhile...and things are improving. I looked into D-MER (Dysphasic-Milk Ejection Reflex) and I believe that this is the root of my issue. I think it was a combination of things, one being "D-MER seems to self correct within the first three months" (I'm quoting the website here http://www.d-mer.org/Specifics_of_D-MER.html)
(it was a little longer for me, about 4 and a half months), and the other being diet, which was rich in a lot of the suggested foods on the website. Both of those things--time and diet--have "tamed" the emotional response to milk let-down. To those of you who were also having this trouble, do check out the website and see if this applies to you. There is a list of symptoms and feelings that make it easy to 'self-diagnose' as it were.
Thank you all for your advice and for believing me when I didn't think it was post-partum depression!

[Paula]

Am glad to hear things are better & thank you for the link - have bookmarked it to share with other moms who report similar concerns/issues!